Recognize Things As They Really Are

This Blog applies to management of a business, but that's not nearly all.  It discusses a human condition that applies to nearly everyone in so many areas of life.

Here's the main point:  

We are quick to embrace denial if it helps justify the way we want things to be.

Re-read that and really think about it for a minute.  I'm sure you will agree it is true.

My original inspiration for the blog was reading a Wall Street Journal piece by Bureau Chief, Melissa Korn.  It was a very personal piece about how she ignored and denied some very serious symptoms of a health problem.  She finally recognized them, got help, and it likely saved her life.  

I had a similar experience that I discuss in my blog titled "Too Many Work Related Problems?  Get Busy".  I was having a heart attack, but was denying my symptoms.  I didn't want to be having a heart attack.  I wanted to have indigestion.  Well, I didn't really want either, but indigestion was preferable!  So I kept telling myself that it was indigestion.  I was denying obvious symptoms because I wanted there to be another explanation.  I was looking through the lens of the way I wanted things to be, and denying the obvious.

This human characteristic is a flaw that we all do to some degree or another.  We reflexively and sometimes stubbornly deny reality when we want the situation to be different.

I am a believer in positive thinking and optimism, but the positive thinking principle only applies within the realm of reality.  We cannot deny real circumstances that are obviously in front of us.

This human flaw applies to health, as I described above.  We deny symptoms that are clearly happening.

It applies to relationships of all types.  Have you ever seen a couple in a romantic relationship where one of the couple is WAY less interested in the relationship than the other?  Everybody can see it except that one person who really wants the relationship.

It applies to politics. How many times have you seen a politician defending a position that defies logic and reasonable observation?  If you set out to do it, I bet you could find an example today.

Finally, and most importantly for this blog, it applies to managing and running a company.  I see so many companies that struggle because they are denying obvious realities.

Are you in denial about why sales are down?  Example:  Is your community in decline, but you love your community and don't want it to decline?  Your denial is motivated by the fact that you want your community to be thriving.

Do you have a poor employee, but you've really invested a lot in him and strongly want him to succeed?  Therefore in your mind, you keep making excuses for him.  Your denial is motivated by you wanting this employee to do well.

Here's a very common "want" that tends to motivate denial:  Your plate is full.  You are tired and you "want" to have a reduction in your work load.  Therefore, you deny or minimize the problem right in front of you.  

We are all guilty of this to some degree, and there is no perfect solution to avoid it.  I believe one of the keys is simply to ask yourself:  Am I looking at things as they really are?  Or am I looking at them as I want them to be?

Ask yourself the question and answer it honestly.  If you do, you will be well on the road to better results.